Rev. Katherine N. Mitchell, DMin

John 11:1-45

In August, 2000, I was in the middle of a two week vacation at our summer house in the Adirondacks when I received an early evening telephone call from my brother Tom telling me that our brother John has been admitted to the hospital in Columbia, SC.  John's admission to the hospital was somewhat surprising as I had seen him only two months earlier and he appeared to be doing just fine in spite of the fact that he been struggling with a full-blown case of AIDS for a number of years.
 
He was not doing just fine now.  In fact, he was in an ICU and intubated, that is, on a breathing ventilator. 
 
That night, as I said my prayers I asked God to be with him, to heal him, to make him well, to strengthen his sick body.  I hoped and prayed for the best.
 
 The following afternoon I received another telephone call.  This call was from my husband Sandy.  He told me he was sorry, but John had died about an hour earlier. 
 
When I heard this news I didn't know what to do.   I didn't know what to do because I just could not believe that John was dead.  I couldn't believe that I would never see his handsome face again, laugh at his jokes; get sucked in by all too believable but fanciful stories.  I couldn't believe that I would never get angry or frustrated at him again.  I couldn't believe that my beloved twin brother was no more.
 
And because I couldn't believe any of these things ?. that I would never see, feel, or share with John again I asked God to breathe new life into him.  I asked, no, I actually demanded Jesus to raise my brother John back from the dead, just like he did with Lazarus.  If Jesus was able to do this for Mary and Martha, why not for me?  I loved my John every bit as much as they did Lazarus.  Why not for me? 
 
At the time of John's death and in the days and weeks that followed, I grieved.  I mourned deeply for him and sobbed in regret that I had not been a better sister,  called and seen him more often, been more generous of myself and my money when he was in need, and been more accepting and less critical, less frustrated and angry with the frequently poor choices he made in his life. 
 
Initially, I felt angry, ignored, and even betrayed because God did not immediately answer my prayers the way I wanted God to.  Just as Jesus was slow in responding to Mary and Martha's plea to come, to come quickly, Jesus seemingly tarried with me as well.  I, too, had to wait.  Waiting is hard.  It is hard to wait and believe at the same time.  Jesus tarried for Mary, Martha and for me. 
 
I know now that His delay was not a sign of God's indifference or failure to hear our prayers. 
 
Now, as time has gone by, months and even years, I have come to believe and know that my prayers and weeping for John were heard, heard and answered by God.  The delay was for my sake even though I didn't know it at the time.   I now know that Jesus' delay is actually a sign of his love for us because the delay will help us in some way.  There are some things that you just can't know right away - you need time and you need space to make sense out of what has happened.
 
Let me explain what I mean, ?In ways that I can not understand entirely, I came to know, just as sure as I am standing here, that Jesus indeed called John out of his tomb of death and brought new life to him. In retrospect, as I look back on the last years of John's life, he had not really been alive, he had merely been existing. His life was as dried up as the bones Ezekiel talks about in the first reading.
 
I believe that in death God poured out his spirit and breathed new life into John.  I now trust that John found the healing, the wholeness, that he had been seeking throughout his earthly life.  I believe John has a new life, not like Lazarus because Lazarus didn't get a new life; rather he was given his old life back, he was raised from the dead.    John received a new life in the Risen Lord.  I prayed for John to be healed and God did answer that prayer.
 
Here is the really profound thing I found out, not only did Jesus call John out of the tomb into his new life, he also called me out of that tomb as well. The strips of cloth that bound John in life also bound me, preventing me from knowing John, knowing John as a child of God and not just as my biological twin and brother.
 
After John died I found out a lot of things about him that I did not know, and a lot of these things I wish I still didn't know about him.  But it is in and through this knowing that I discovered who he really was and who he has become for me today.  It is in knowing the "real" John that I have come to love and cherish him more in death than in his physical life. I came to know John, I think, as God wanted me to know him; somewhat like God knows him. I believe this is the new live that Jesus gave to John and to me. 
 
In this reading, a number of times it is implied, if not stated, "What Jesus did he did for the sake of the ones involved."  I don't even pretend to understand the ways of God but I am profoundly grateful.   I just want to say thank you Jesus, thank you for what you did for me and for the new life you gave to John so that I could believe.       Amen.